The economy of caresses

The economy of caresses

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The psychotherapist Claude Steiner, developed a theory called The economics of caresses, where it shows the effects on humans, grow, develop and live, depending on the abundance or shortage of affective signs.

Life is an exchange of stimuli. Our way of interpreting the world and giving meaning to life is molded not only based on economic, labor and social concepts. Looks, gestures, screams, silences, caresses, words, make up our life. Perhaps the feeling of living in an emotional, intellectual and sensory void is terribly more unbearable than pain.

We are fragile since our birth, but not only air, water, and bread can protect us to live satisfactorily.

Caresses and child development

Today, scientific research shows that the absence of caresses in the broadest of senses, causes a delay in the development of the newborn, even leading to death despite ensuring proper food and hygiene for survival.

This very powerful and serious statement should make our way of conveying affection to children change radically. Because of many parents, due to work and their multiple responsibilities, leave aside the power that caresses have for the healthy development of their children.

The need for stimuli is so influential in the harmony of human development. that when we do not receive a minimum amount to survive, the body enters a dynamic of disease and death.

We know that a good part of the psychological illnesses of the West has as main cause the absence of love: depression, neurosis, anxiety are generated in some way by this lack Steiner assured that caresses were essential to survive.

The danger of lacking caresses

If we lack caresses, physical contact, an internal mechanism would be willing to get them at any price, this specialist concludes, even accepting negative caresses, given the idea of ​​not receiving any. What does this mean? That we are an easy target to end up falling into harmful relationships, in which we will endure even the unimaginable by receiving a minimal dose of affection.

Faulkner already wrote: we prefer pain to nothing, a slap to ignorance, grief to emptiness, contempt to indifference, shout to apathy. We should not forget that we are born men and women but we become human thanks to caresses, tenderness, compassion, affection.

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Therefore, what can we do to solve this? How to convey affection to children in a healthy way that is positive for them? Here we will leave some tips that would be interesting if we put into practice as soon as possible:

Provide quality time: do you read with your children? When you are with them, are you with them or are you distracted with your mobile and are you thinking about your things? Play with the children, enjoy yourself with them ... Many people do not want to enter those "children's games" because they do not have time for "those things." Get the child inside. You'll thank him and your children, too.

You can give affection in many ways: providing quality time is a way of giving affection, but it is also mentioning how well he has tied his shoes, that six he has taken out in mathematics or how much he is striving in his extracurricular activity. Mention the good, say it in words, it is necessary.

Do not shout, communicate: it is useless to shout at a child, this will only instill fear and fear. It is much better to stop to talk about something you have done and that is not right. Let him see it, worry that he understands it, give him a hug and let him know that we will be by his side to teach him those things that he still doesn't know and that, for that reason, sometimes he doesn't do the way they should be done.

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For a child, there is no better show of affection than knowing that he can count on you.

How has your childhood been? Have you received caresses or did your parents show you no affection? Sometimes, if we have lived in these circumstances we can repeat the same thing or move on to the other extreme, give too much affection to the children by overprotecting them and making them dependent on us. In the balance is the key. But, above all, in the fact of showing them our love, not in supposing that they already know that we love them very much.

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