Waterproof, vulnerable or safe to love?

Waterproof, vulnerable or safe to love?

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Our personality is forged during childhood, and from that moment, our way of relating will indicate different ways of loving. Elusive, anxious, or safe relationships. An elusive relationship is characterized by a certain impermeability to be loved by others. They are distrustful of the effective sincerity of others and feel vulnerable the more the level of intimacy between the two increases. They usually develop a distant effect and emotional barriers. His insecurity causes a certain air of insensitivity to the needs of his partner.

Anxious emotional relationships, characterized by feelings of doubt about the couple's real affection, tend to move others away from their surroundings to avoid sharing it. Faced with the possibility of abandonment, they will accept the submission as a currency, so as not to separate from the person they love, taking care of it compulsively (even without a real need) and without ever offering them, the minimum hint of independence.

Finally, the so-called safe relationships describe comfortable people when affective dependence is mutual. They do not focus on fears about abandonment or commitment. They are emotional and empathic, and above all constructive. They feel happier with a prolonged union and the concept of "marriage" reinforces a shelter of tranquility and harmony. Their family and sexual life are intrinsically linked, staying protected and active. These three attitudes when it comes to love can make us change the course of many of our couple behaviors. Our personality determines in many cases the closeness or distancing in our relationships.

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The most important search, without a doubt, is understanding and not perfection, trying to find out what the person we love is like and how we are ourselves when it comes to offering love. Balancing our affections, trying to find a place in the relationship, where we can both be two, but always being oneself.

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