Not shared love is a hemorrhage

Not shared love is a hemorrhage

We call pseudo-love, a feeling similar in its intensity to real love, but whose main element is suffering. It is said that any form of pseudo-love is destructive. One of these forms is codependence: we could define it as a disease, which is characterized by the absence of its own identity, the loss of connection with what it feels, needs and desires. For an excessive concern and dependence (emotional, social and sometimes physical) of a person, place or object.

The codependent gives more importance to others than himself, believes that his value as a person depends on the opinion of his environment, and therefore seeks to please everyone. You feel anxiety when you have to make decisions, because you fear being wrong. He doesn't know how to have fun because he takes life too seriously, the denial of his feelings, forces him to take responsibility for the actions that other people take. It invests excessive energy, in maintaining an image or a status to impress since its self-esteem depends on the value that others grant it.

96% of the population according to psychological studies is codependent

The codependent needs to continually give in order not to suffer is dominated by sick feelings and not by reason. It allows so much manipulation on itself, that it does not recognize abuse when it suffers. One characteristic to review is that you do not trust the other person you are trying to influence. This is manifested by chasing her, trying to control her, telling her what to do, etc. A codependent does not know where he ends, and where the other person begins. All love that does not produce tranquility and joy, but anguish or guilt, is contaminated with codependence. That kind of pathological love, of obsession, is extremely dangerous and destructive.

Is there love?

Undoubtedly yes. According to Erich Fromm, love is neither a feeling, nor an object, but AN ART, which implies developing within you the ability to wish good to the other, to experience compassion for the one who suffers, and pleasure in the experience of sharing and to help We must not strive to receive it, we must take care of being able to develop it within ourselves.